"The Problem Solver" drabbles by Christopher

End Of The Road

The Problem Solver #6

Eddie Stone was lead singer and guitarist for the popular rock band Clockwork Zombie. He was rich and famous. He was also a heroin addict. His groupie/girlfriend Lisa succumbed to the drug backstage at a concert. Her parents blamed Eddie. They paid me to publicly balance the ledger.

It took months to get a job as a roadie for the band and get into a position where I could rewire Eddie's guitar and microphone.

One night in Cleveland he took the stage, clutching the microphone while holding the neck of his guitar with his other hand.

An electrifying "final" performance.

The Man Who Became Death

The Problem Solver #5

Rick Flintlock was one of Hollywood's biggest actors. He starred in a successful series of Western movies entitled The Man Who Became Death. He was also an arrogant drunk who thought the world owed him a debt for gracing it with his presence.

He was driving home through Laurel Canyon one night sloppy drunk and killed a teenage girl who'd just graduated from high school. He showed no remorse and got off with community service.

At the request of the girl's parents I cut the brake line on his sports car.

Headlines the next morning:

The Man Who Became Dead!

Pro Bono

The Problem Solver #4

Anthony Rossi, an Italian gangster who'd come to the USA in the 1960s, built a criminal empire unmatched in New York City. He was one of the most brutal crime bosses in the city's history. Now, as an old man, he'd retired to the ritzy suburb of Scarsdale, New York.

A huge bash was planned for his 85th birthday. All his bloodthirsty former associates were there. I was there too, posing as a gas company employee, checking a leak.

When the explosion blew up the house, I chalked up the non-target collateral damage to pro bono work for humanity.

Altar Ego

The Problem Solver #3

The Reverend Hugo Cherub was a televangelist with a multimillion dollar ministry. He wore gold chains and rings, drove a BMW, and lived in a mansion. He bragged about being God's right-hand man.

He also molested every child in his congregation and had a deacon killed who'd discovered how much money he'd stolen from the collection plate. The deacon's wife hired me to hasten his trip to Hell.

The Sunday service started. He took a drink from the water pitcher I'd poisoned earlier that morning and fell on the pulpit.

Now it was God's turn to deal with him.

Something In The Air

The Problem Solver #2

Robert Townley was scuba diving for the first time. After he'd been acquitted in America for defrauding hundreds of elderly people out of their retirements with a hedge fund scheme, he planned a long vacation in the Maldives.

Now he was out on a boat in the pristine blue waters of the Indian Ocean preparing for his debut dive. His instructor was going down with him that first time.

He was down a few minutes and then began to feel funny and started clawing at his face, suffocating. He looked at me, his instructor.

I just smiled and swam away.

Poison IV

The Problem Solver #1

I made it to Benjamin O'Reilly's hospital room. He's the lawyer that got Robert Townley acquitted. Townley's the hedge fund manager that bilked a lot of old people out of their retirements. Anyway, O'Reilly was in for a simple procedure.

I was hired to kill O'Reilly. Some call me a hitman. I think of myself more as a solver of problems.

Anyway, I stole a doctor's coat and slipped into O'Reilly's room. I took the syringe loaded with an untraceable poison and injected it in his IV line.

I had just left the room when he flatlined.

Next target: Townley.