"Galactic News" drabbles by Christopher

Galactic News Pt. 3

Galactic News #3

Sue: And finally, Dateline Earth - A vote was held in Earth's Parliament today to finally give its moon an official name. Debate was heated and contentious. But, in the final analysis, an agreement was reached.

E. Quinn: Well, don't keep us in suspended animation, Sue, tell us!

Sue: (smiling) Okay. Earth's moon's official name is......Bob!

E. Quinn: (puzzled) Bob?

Sue: Bob!

E. Quinn: What the hell kind of name is that for a moon?

Sue: The one they chose, Quinn.

E. Quinn: So, Neil Armstrong was the first man on...Bob?

Sue: Apparently so!

E. Quinn: What a bunch of dumbasses!

Galactic News Pt. 2

Galactic News #2

Sue: Dateline Saturn - After two of the planet's rings went missing, Saturn's president, Conrad "Shifty" McFelon, admitted to pawning the rings to raise money for his re-election campaign. McFelon, in a statement today, scoffed at the idea of resigning but assured voters he would pay everything back just as soon as he won the Galactic Lottery.

E. Quinn: Dateline Mars - The controversial drink Blast-Off Soda, whose slogan touts "Enough sugar to give the Andromeda Galaxy diabetes!" is once again in trouble. It's had a class-action lawsuit filed against them by the parents of some very fat children...

Galactic News Pt. 1

Galactic News #1

Galactic News with hosts Sue Pernova and E. Quinn Knox.

Sue: Dateline New Gomorrah - More trouble looms for the pleasure planet as all robotic sex workers go on strike, demanding to be paid the same as their human counterparts. "Equal pay for an equal lay!" was the chant of the striking robots as negotiations continue. Both sides are confident a successful climax can be reached.

E. Quinn: Dateline Pluto - Residents once again petition the Galactic Council to be reinstated as an actual planet. Councilperson Jill Frigid said, "We'll have a planet named after Mickey Mouse's dog over my dead body!"