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Galactic News #2

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Sue: Dateline Saturn - After two of the planet's rings went missing, Saturn's president, Conrad "Shifty" McFelon, admitted to pawning the rings to raise money for his re-election campaign. McFelon, in a statement today, scoffed at the idea of resigning but assured voters he would pay everything back just as soon as he won the Galactic Lottery.

E. Quinn: Dateline Mars - The controversial drink Blast-Off Soda, whose slogan touts "Enough sugar to give the Andromeda Galaxy diabetes!" is once again in trouble. It's had a class-action lawsuit filed against them by the parents of some very fat children...

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