"Exploits of Greg and Steve" drabbles by Neville Hunt
Drag artist
Exploits of Greg and Steve #3c
Our distress calls fell on deaf ears. Our only chance of survival was to get across the fierce current before we reached the rocks or the sea. Neither seemed fun options!
There was another beach before reaching the sea. If only we could get there, but our strength was flagging. Hero Greg drew on adrenalin-fuelled energy for one final, frantic paddlefest. I mobilised my own adrenalin. Off came my trousers, off came shoes and off the Dory I leapt, rope in hand, hit the sandy bottom and somehow dragged us all to safety.
No orphans after all! We'd survived!
Riding a raging tide
Exploits of Greg and Steve #3b
It's amazing how far and fast a small boat travels when you hit a tidal current. Reaching the house on the other side with one paddle and a couple of energetic paddlers seemed downright impossible! Caught in the current in the middle of the estuary, we sped past the house, out towards the sea, past other boats on moorings.
"Help! Help! M'aidez! M'aidez!" we shouted. No response.
"Seven orphans!" thought my wife, miserably.
Three totally panicked. The other three buckled down and kept cool heads.
You know who you'd want in the trenches with you at times of crisis!
...continued...
Up the creek with one paddle
Exploits of Greg and Steve #3a
This time we stayed at the grand house across the estuary too. Babysitter said goodbye to the six of us and hello to seven young kids.
The Dory engine had been troublesome. Halfway across Greg realised he had only one oar. "Oh well, one's enough!"
Not so. After a lovely meal, the engine refused to start. "Better start paddling", said Greg.
The blokes shared the paddle. Greg was very strong and fit. I took my turn too, but... We were making OK progress, when we hit the 8 knot current accompanying a falling tide.
We were in big trouble!
...continued...
Blind, drunk and all washed up
Exploits of Greg and Steve #2b
...rowboat upturned, the inebriated pair, disoriented, swam for the safety of the beach, while Steve's spectacles zigzagged down towards the comfort of Davy Jones's Locker.
Very cold, drunk, reaching the beach they staggered to the steps up to the house to meet very angry wives. Fearing hypothermia - a hot bath. Like kids, these grown men had to share. They survived the incident but not the bollocking from the wives!
Next day, amazingly, Steve's daughter discovered his spectacles buried in sand at low water.
The newspaper reported mysterious rowboat discovery, washed up on a cove miles away. Fears for the occupants...
Upside drown
Exploits of Greg and Steve #2a
The grand house across the estuary was lovely but remote from all the pubs. Greg and Steve liked a pint or seven. Escaping meant a tiny rowboat out to the Dory moored just off the little beach, climb aboard, start the old outboard and glide across the water to liberty and Courage Best Bitter.
Early evening, still light... a beautiful 5 minute trip. After umpteen pints, in the dark, returning was challenging. Getting in the tiny rowboat was particularly tricky for landlubber Steve. Greg was in when Steve fell, turning the rowboat upside down and them out...
...to be continued...
Besacked
Exploits of Greg and Steve #1
Resembling 007, white-suited lawyer Greg and pal Steve glided from the grand house across the estuary, with wives, to dine at trendy Salcombe restaurant. Tied Dory to landing stage and were off. While dining, the heavens opened. They ran to the boat. No boat! Stolen!
Neville, wife, kids were camping (ungrand!) and had sought storm refuge with mid-grand friends who were renting a little cottage.
The four refugees arrived. To save the white suit, resourceful Neville grabbed a black plastic garbage sack, cutting armholes and headhole.
"Honestly, I'm a lawyer", declared suitless, besacked Greg, grandly to astonished police!
