"Stones" drabbles by Christopher

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

Stones

Whenever Teddy's work takes him to a new town the first thing he does is find a bar and try to score.

He entered the first bar he came to on Main Street.

He approached a woman sitting at the bar and sat down.

"Hey, baby. Wanna have a good time?"

SLAP!

He moved down to two ladies who were having a conversation.

"What's up? Wanna have a threesome?" he asked with a smile.

SLAP! SLAP!

This went on for half an hour.

What Teddy was blissfully unaware of was that he'd wandered into Sappho, the city's premier lesbian bar.

Get Off Of My Cloud

Stones

Charlie was sitting on a cloud, practicing his harp for the annual Angels' Showcase on Sunday, when Jason flew by.

"Hey...whatcha doin'...playing the harp?" Jason asked.

"Yes," Charlie responded.

"I used to play. Gave it up when they transferred me to the Miracles Department. No time anymore."

"Really?" Charlie said.

"Yeah...Way too busy helping the humans to waste time like that."

Charlie wanted to kick Jason off the cloud, but knew The Big Guy frowned on that sort of thing.

What Charlie didn't know was The Big Guy had just kicked Jason out of the Throne Room for being annoying.

Ruby Tuesday

Stones

Samuel and his wife Elizabeth were arguing over where to have dinner. They finally settled on Ruby Tuesday. After bickering in the car for 20 minutes they finally entered the restaurant and got a table.

Peggy, the waitress, came over to their table.

"Welcome to Ruby Tuesday. I'm Peggy and I'll be serving you."

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing?" Samuel said.

Peggy smiled.

Elizabeth gritted her teeth and said, "Why don't you tell her about your erectile dysfunction, Sammy?"

Samuel smiled, "Ah, yes, my erectile dysfunction," he said as he pointed to his wife, "her name is Elizabeth!"