"Nevilles Travails - Italy" drabbles by Neville Hunt

Thoughts of flying

Nevilles Travails - Italy #6 Hi-flyer abhorred #3

"I'm so fat that if I sit in this exit seat I'll get in the way of all the passengers trying to escape if we crash!" she thought. "It's a lovely seat with lots of room for my big fat legs. I'm glad I chose it. Aisle seat, hubby across the way, but I mustn't get in the way if the worst happens!"

"Darling, tell the girl I must move seat for takeoff and landing. DO IT NOW!"

"Don't take her excuses! I must save all these passengers. MAKE A FUSS!"

"Fuss, you want fuss? That's my life with you!"

Way out behaviour

Nevilles Travails - Italy #5 Hi -flyer abhorred #2

At around 280 pounds, maybe she was being public spirited. By refusing to sit in the exit row for takeoff and landing, she was selflessly putting herself out seat-switching to save the rest of us highflying captives. Maybe!

But why the histrionics, why the abuse of the crew by hubby?

The flight was fairly comfortable and we all forgot the incident. But the 'exitphobe' struck again as landing was announced. The young woman who had generously switched seats earlier was sitting chatting with friends. What a shock as an enormous form came to stand over her demanding part two.

Cool approach to hot air

Nevilles Travails - Italy #4 Hi-flyer abhorred #1

His wife didn't want to sit in the seat next to the exit for takeoff for some reason. It was her allocated seat on a completely full flight - with lots of legroom! She became stroppy! Her husband got abusive with the cabin attendant, who explained airline policy. Another passenger defended the attendant. Mouthy husband set on her defender too. A situation brewing!

The attendant, Eleni, cool, calm and friendly, asked another passenger if she would swap, which of course she would. Brilliantly handled by Eleni.

This was the airline everyone hated. Now it's everyone minus two, Mrs H and me.

THUN

Nevilles Travails - Italy #3

It was a lovely shop and I spotted that it was my anagram. I thought maybe I should buy something from THUN and share my joke with the world. But then I thought 'On!' Nenoo will understand. Your private joke will stay prative. It was then I realised what a clever dick I had become. My worst critic, my wife, would never let me live it down. "If you're going to make a brand statement, don't make it cryptic. People will think you pretentious!"

I weighed it up and her words got the better of me. I bought Nuth-ing.

The 3-legged dog of Lucca

Nevilles Travails - Italy #2

He probably didn't know he was disabled. He was doing fine. The three-legged dog on the walls of Lucca was, like a three-legged stool, perfectly stable. He found a way to be 'abled'.

Cycling round the walls of wonderful Lucca, we were challenged frequently by other cyclists not so 'able'. I wondered if the dog's amputation resulted from an inconsiderate two-wheel novice careering recklessly to avoid those darned walkers (how dare they?).

Unless dog language has really come on apace, Tripod, as I named him, had probably forgotten it and got on with his life. If only...

Stay Karm

Nevilles Travails - Italy #1

The British queue. Low-cost airlines make you queue. That's fair, we get it. Naturally, we HATE queue-jumpers! The woman was a queue-cheat, exhibiting signs of jumping intentions at the airport. Seats were allocated, so why jump the queue? Because space for cabin luggage is limited... if there's no space for your bag onboard, then it's stowed in the hold, adding extra time at the destination. Barging ahead, she stowed her bag in the overhead locker. Poor husband, embarrassed, didn't queue-jump. His bag was sent to the hold.

What goes round comes round the baggage carousel...eventually!

YES!