"Deaf Dumb And Blind Date" drabbles by Christopher

Deaf, Dumb And Blind Date (2/2)

Deaf Dumb And Blind Date #2

As dinner progressed I could see we weren't making a connection. She kept looking at her smartphone, which was the only thing about her that had any sort of intelligence. It was beyond me how this generation was so dumb and yet tech-savvy enough to maneuver all this useless technology.

Then the final straw. I said I wanted to catch Guns N' Roses next time they were in town.

"Who's Guns N' Roses?" she asked with all the charm of a deer caught in the headlights.

I excused myself to visit the bathroom.

And then crawled out the window.

Deaf, Dumb And Blind Date (1/2)

Deaf Dumb And Blind Date #1

I recently went out with a nineteen-year-old girl. You might ask why a man hurtling towards a mid-life crisis would date a girl so young, but maybe there's your answer. Anyway, if you'd ever seen this girl you'd know why I went out with her.

This poor girl was as vapid and clueless as you've heard the millennial generation is. The conversation over dinner was third-grade level (if it were a really dumb third-grader). I foolishly tried to make smart jokes, which went down like a lead balloon.

I was thinking I'd made a mistake...