"Berserko The Clown" drabbles by Christopher

Clown Car

Berserko The Clown

Berserko the Clown drove his 1971 Volkswagen Beetle downtown to renew his driver's license. He parked on the street and got out as a man kept staring at him and the car. Berserko started down the block. The man kept staring intently at the car. Berserko rounded the corner and then looked back. The man still stared at the car.

Annoyed, Berserko walked back, approaching the man.

"Got a problem, pal?" Berserko asked.

He replied, "I was just waiting to see if more clowns came out of this car."

Berserko kneed him in the nuts and went on his way.

Rabid

Berserko the Clown

Berserko the Clown's house was in a decent neighborhood. His biggest problem was his next-door-neighbor, Butch.

Butch had a Rottweiler that barked constantly. Berserko had repeatedly asked Butch to silence the dog.

Fed up, Berserko took three tabs of Alka-Seltzer and a bottle of hot sauce into Butch's backyard, dumping them into the dog's water bowl and watching it fizz. He saw the dog take a drink, then foam at the mouth and squeal from the hot sauce.

Five minutes later, back at home watching Lassie, Berserko heard a scream and a shotgun blast from next door.

No Laughing Matter

Berserko the Clown

Berserko the Clown was just finishing up his routine for a room full of kids. There was nervous laughter. The kids looked frightened.

"Thanks so much, kids," Berserko said in a psychotic voice.

He started packing away his props while addressing the room full of silent children.

"You're lucky to have someone who cares enough to entertain you. I wasn't so lucky when I was a child...
wasn't...so...lucky...," he said as his thoughts trailed off.

"See you next time, and remember, kids, comedy is no laughing matter!"

He closed the door, leaving the sobbing, terrified children chained to the wall.