A woman who can turn herself inside out.
An 80-year-old man who can ejaculate constantly for a full five minutes.
Two cats who can hold a conversation about the band Pulp.
A grandmother who can set fire to her toes using the power of her mind.
A balloon-artist who uses prophylactics.
A small boy who can "vomit Beethoven's Ninth".
A blind man juggling plutonium rods.
A teenage girl who can recite the entire 170 minutes of 'Scarface' word for word.
An undead dog.
It had to be said, the entrants in Skaggerston's talent show were bloody awful.