'This is an emergency! Abandon ship!' came the cry.
Panic grew. Screams rang out, alarms sounded.
'Women and children first!' shouted the First Officer.
The menfolk on board the vessel 'Navigator' ushered their distraught wives, their crying children, to the lifeboats.
Despite the chaos, the drill was carried out impeccably. The lifeboats were launched, and many lives were saved.
Mr. Tregawer watched, along with the many other men, as the lifeboats drifted into the distance.
'Right chaps...that's the wives and kids out the way. Now we can get properly pissed!' he said. Cheers rang out.
Hoorah for the Birkenhead drill.