This, That and the Otter

'Well if you were a bit more forthcoming in bed I might not have to go elsewhere for it!' Brian shouted at his wife, banging his fist on the sideboard.
'Don't you blame me for this, Brian! Sleeping around...using prostitutes...you make me sick, you pathetic bastard!' Sandra replied.
'They could teach you a thing or two, you frigid bitch!'
'Yeah, and they're welcome to, Brian! Because I'm done with you! Finished!'

In the corner of the room, Simon the Otter tugged on his pipe and sighed. Every night it was the same. Why can't everyone just get along? he wondered.