xavierblaq avatar

The Analects of BS


Greatness is defined by one's proximity to me.

I can't believe these paranoid people thinking "the government monitors the internet." Don't they know the government only controls our every action with chemicals in our drinking water?

I'll bet that Peter Piper picked a peck of 42 pickled peppers. After all, everything eventually leads back to 42.

If you're kind to people, it isn't unreasonable to expect kindness in return. Therefore, I should be able to hassle people for money when I hold the door for them.

Dogs are man's best friend. By the way, I call my my meth "dog."

2 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Horrorshow almost 10 years ago

    Some great lines in this one, Brandon. Particularly enjoyed the opening and closing sentences!

  • avatar

    Brandon Sutton almost 10 years ago

    Thanks! I had never known if these jokes I'd come up with were any good or not, but it is encouraging to see that they are actually are funny.

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