xavierblaq avatar

The Analects of BS

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5 is secretly the answer to 2+2. Just type it into any calculator. It will show "4" since 5 is the secret answer.

I believe it is possible to know something, since I know that I ate a pizza for lunch.

Love is that feeling one gets from a full-length mirror.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then sell that lemonade for $1 per glass. If life keeps it up, you could be rich in no time.

Since I have been called "son" quite a few times, I think the world must revolve around me. It's just science.

4 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Brandon Sutton over 9 years ago

    I actually have a collection of jokes like these that I based on comedy where the speaker intentionally says things he finds ridiculous but under the guise of someone thinking they know everything. Stephen Colbert, in particular, is a big influence on my comedic writing, with this as the most obvious of his influence on me.

  • avatar

    Brandon Sutton over 9 years ago

    Thanks!

  • avatar

    Horrorshow over 9 years ago

    Clever drabble. Well written, Brandon.

  • avatar

    Brandon Sutton over 9 years ago

    Thank you!

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