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A first nobody seems to notice. Then a girl casts a casual glance in my direction. The change in her facial expression when she sees me causes the people seated near her to turn and look for themselves. The wave of subtle movement and changing facial expressions travels from one table to the next. It washes over the crowd in the bar, soaks the pool table regulars, leaves halted conversations and unfinished beers. I take one step forward, a prosaic gesture without any obvious meaning. Yet it seems to focus their attention – or perhaps it’s the Kalashnikov I'm holding.

4 comments add one below

  • avatar

    D.M. almost 8 years ago

    This works so well. Drew has put his finger on it. You make the reader a participant moving through the passage to see what everyone is looking at.
    Excellent!
    (The title threw me off, as it seemed to reference the moon landing.)

  • avatar

    Olga Klezovitch almost 8 years ago

    :-)!

  • avatar

    T. Willemann almost 8 years ago

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments and votes!
    I’ve made a few minor revisions, the most obvious being the change of the title from ‘One Small Step’ – as D.M. rightly noted, those words are too closely related to moonwalking. Besides, ‘Turning Heads’ works much better, both in a literal and in a metaphorical sense.

  • avatar

    D.M. almost 8 years ago

    I like the new title!

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