Quick fix

From the base of the coarse wooden planks that made up the exterior of their home, something green was growing. Though Adam had soaked the velvety smudge with every conceivable chemical, the thing kept spreading upward at the provokingly steady rate of nearly an inch every year. However, this mossy insubordination was not all that bothered Adam. Lately his wife Eve had started to complain about a rash that had spread from her hand all the way to her elbow.
“It’s the chemicals,” she said. “You must find a different solution.”
“No problem,” he answered and cut off her arm.