Float plans...

A coffee enthusiast. Very often labelled an addict - rendering dear ones to plot "Plan Sober".
Starting with a quick Google for odd questionable coffee choices
Next, treating the addict to a paradox drink, hoping to put an end to the sins
Three, directing the barista to be generous with the sparkling water and vanilla syrup while willfully wishing the drink to be a disaster
Four, wait and pray
--------
"V??"
"Hmm, right. I might never have it..."
Hiding their joy, they say its best to refrain -
"Do you think Seltzer would've worked better with the cold brew?"
"What??"
"Next time -"