Promise in a lie

I am living in a lie
Nothing I need to shy
Pieces together I tie
Pretending I don’t cry
Nothing seems to have meaning
Everything in life needs mending.

Present in such a crowd
Still, I feel so lonely
Noises are too loud
Eyes watching me keenly
Feeling the need to kill
Anyone who says how I grew
I don’t need someone until
They’ve seen what I’ve been through.

Jealous of my luxury
Envy my smile
The pain I bury
Has been going on a while
One day I’ll own a throne that I'll kiss
And that is my promise.