Sharpo the Clown

Herbert Pedo, professionally known as Sharpo the Clown, died yesterday during a performance at a local child's birthday party. Sharpo had just finished his signature stunt, impaling balloon animals on sharp spikes, when he went to remove a handkerchief from his breast pocket. Unfortunately, Sharpo forgot to put down the spike first and accidentally stabbed himself through the heart. Terrified children ran screaming as blood spurted everywhere and Sharpo took his last breaths.

Funeral services are being delayed until a dying wish can be fulfilled: finding a coffin that's big enough to bury Sharpo wearing his giant floppy clown shoes.