"Vampires" drabbles by Jeff Taylor
Vampires #3
Vampires #3
"‘Cause if you just give’em a frosting, they’ll just rip your arms off as soon as you get near. Not to mention, we get paid for the heads. Vampire anti-coagulant goes for a thousand bucks per CC. So no smashing their teeth in! That’s our pay-check. We drain'em then destroy them. Oh, and for cryin' out loud make sure the ash blows away. Blood's like god damned Miracle Grow to Vampire ash. Did that in my younger days. Let me tell you kid. The last thing you want is a pissed off Vampire hunting you down, get it?"
Vampires #2
Vampires #2
“This is the only sure way to kill a vampire kid. You glue’em down with the foam, and then hack off their heads. Then you burn ’em. Preferably in an industrial chemical furnace. You know the ones, where they get so hot they break down all the nasty chemicals in plastics and the like. Then you take the ash, if there’s any left, and scatter it out the back of a plane over the Atlantic. Unfortunately we don’t have a furnace and we definitely ain’t got no plane, so foam’em and hack off their heads. And foam’em good yah hear?"
Vampires
Vampires #1
“Look kid. I’ll make this really nice and simple for you…” Cletus sighed. “Forget what you’ve seen in the movies, and on TV. Vampires are mean. Empty a whole clip of ammo into’em? You’re dead. Stab them in the heart with a stake? Harder than it looks kid; and if you’re close enough to be using a stake? Then you’re dead. Daylight! You cry! Ultraviolet!? Nope. You’re dead. Daylight ain’t no problem to a Vampire. Heck, I’ve seen old ones sipping coffee on a Parisian high street in mid-summer.” He shoved the glue gun, and pack, at the kid.
