Forced into a long tube by a flabby, bumpy thing, I fell, landing in an acidic bowl. After being guided through dark, dank tunnels, I was sucked downwards into a raging whirlpool, where the currents mercilessly threw me round and round. Bit by bit, pieces of my flesh were violently separated from my body. While all this was happening, I couldn't scream, couldn't move, and couldn't do anything. I was paralyzed as I was sucked down into the hole and towards the sewer."
- An excerpt from the journal of Crapstatic P. Shit.
May this piece of shit, rest in peace.
Join me, my friends, as I tell you about our kind. Being one of us is not easy. It is a life full of hardship and strife. Prepare yourself as I share with you a true story of capture and torture:
I’ve hanged on trees, been buried underground, and traveled by air and sea. One day, after being peeled, mashed, shredded and chopped, I was tossed in a boiling, slippery liquid. Scooped up and placed on a round, hard object I got stabbed then lifted into a dark, wet cave, where I was pummeled and ground by bone-hard masses.