"Happy being crappy" drabbles by Neville Hunt

Winning vs losing

Happy being crappy #2

I like the weekly meander around the nine-holer with my mates. I’m always soundly beaten by them. You see, they’ve played regularly and have impressive handicaps. My handicap is that I’m a crap golfer.

But occasionally I deliver a real belter of a drive, sometimes in the right direction, only to blow it with the next shots. But I’m improving.

Our friend Sarah doesn’t understand that some people are completely uncompetitive when it comes to sport. I like losing, which I do well. I’m always happy, because if I won, my mates would lose... and I wouldn't want that!

An approximation

Happy being crappy #1

Now here’s the thing. I have recently taken up a rough approximation to golf. The resemblance is based upon using clubs, golf balls and a nine-hole course nearby. I had last played about 25 years ago. And I was crap then. And I’m crap now.

Mrs H was speaking to a friend recently and, under interrogation, she admitted that I had taken up golf. A keen and competitive golfer, Sarah asked if I was taking lessons.

“No!” replied Mrs H, “his mates are teaching him.”

“Well he’ll never be any good then!” exclaimed Sarah.

But Sarah couldn’t understand me...