"Criminal Activity" drabbles by Alex

Breaking and Entering

Criminal Activity #2

It was a dark and stormy night, but only in his head, as he struggled to slice the lemons that came in his mail yesterday. His hands were blistering badly still.

It was, in fact, a cloudless day, with children screaming outside. Lemon juice squirted into his eye, and he screamed as loudly as the children and the car accelerating into his back porch.

CRASH! He only had time to let his jaw loose and see the ghost-faced perpetrators pull down his pants, take the silver spoon from his ass, shit included, and stick it right into his mouth.

Arson

Criminal Activity #1

Perhaps it was because his diesel engine mouth yakked on and on about basketball and politics and his idiot friends and he just. Didn't. Stop.

Maybe it was the way his touch burned you, and not in a nice way. It felt like dry ice shaped into fingers that fumbled around clumsily when you were in bed.

It could have been his face. Or...all of him. You remember how hot he was when you saw him first. All sweaty and absolutely gross.

Now you gotta find someone who burns less easily.

Well, there was this girl from the chemistry department...