If Some Famous Dead People had Twitter

‘Shalom! Big party tonight, lots of booze. All the guys and Mary Magdalene’s up for it. Getting nailed to a tree tomoz. Tell Judas. If you miss it see you on Friday. Jesus’

‘At the Senate hanging with Brutus and the other fellas. Ides of March celebrations a real blast. Caesar’

‘Hot date with Madam Guillotine in the morning for a quick, close shave. Blame the wife for that ‘let them eat cake’ gag. Must remember to leave the wig at home. Louis XVI’

‘Sticks and stones might break my bones but whips and chains excite me. Marquis de Sade’