The Day I Decided To Be A Total Fucking Douchebag

Woke up, determined!

Morning commute. Wove in and outta traffic. Cut off as many people as possible. Flipped off as many people as possible.

Morning coffee. Complimented the cute barista on her titties, ass; asked if she shaves her cooch. Got kicked out! Grabbed someone else's mocha getting escorted out the door!

Lunchtime workout. Sprawled my stuff in the centre of the locker room. Belching. Farting. Stared at the gym hotties. Didn't shower.

Office. Stunk to high heaven. Just watched porn. Gossipped 'round the watercooler.

In the evening, I decided it'd been too much effort.
Tomorrow I'd be me, again...