Meanwhile, At The Mens' Clinic

He'd made an appointment for consultation. The ads on the radio and television said they could restore sexual function to any man.

He felt this might be the greatest day of his otherwise miserable life.

With obvious derision, the Doctor looked up at him. "What can we do for you?"

"Doctor," he stammered in his guttural tone, "I've never been able to perform. And I'd like to perform if Father ever makes a woman for me."

The Doctor blanched. "OK. We'll start checking your vitals."

The Doctor beat a hasty retreat. Called his nurse to check the monster's vital signs.