Ashamed on Mars

I didn’t want Pam from HR to know I spilled mop water in the hallway so I lied that I was on floor B at the time but turns out there was an astronaut signup meeting on floor B and a guy who signed up had the same name as me so I ended up training for two years and now I’m the commander on Mars and Pam will never know I loved her because in Space No One Can Hear You Scream except for my crew members wondering why I'm sobbing uncontrollably at this rock shaped like a didgeridoo.