The Queen's Monologue

Stan was a shy fat kid who cried when guys called him “faggot” in the locker room. Muffin Top was a fearless diva who took crap from nobody. Eventually I started acting like her offstage, and after a while I guess her personality fused with mine, because people stopped bothering me. And I love myself now.

But the truth is the old Stan isn’t gone. He’s just what’s left when I’m too exhausted to put on my sassy pants and play the part.

And y’know what? I never really got to take my makeup off completely until I met you.