Hair & the Tortoise

I’ve got a three year old, it makes me not question anything... like yesterday I went into the bathroom and they’ve hacked their own hair off then glued it to the toilet seat next to our pet tortoise, Rex.
Anyway, I started trying to pick the hair off and predictably Rex slipped in. Toddler then runs over and pulls the flush. And Rex has gone, like completely GONE. I know I should’ve taken Rex off first, but I don’t like touching Rex. Didn’t like touching Rex. The hairy glue won’t come of the toilet seat either. Fuck my actual life.