Never Complain; Never Explain

“Alright then, me old mate, me old mucker...” I was recovering from the shock of this voice from the grave. I would try sarcasm. And putting on my very best version of Basil Fawlty, I continued. “You asked me who I was, well I’m the Queen of Sheba, hereafter known as Queenie Lollobrigida. I passed quite recently your way!”

”What kind of crap are you talking, Don? You’ve got some explaining to do my old friend! Have you been at the wacky baccy by any chance?”

“WHAT!... ME explain?” I protested.

“OK then... so what makes you think I’m dead?”