Bingalong

Little Red Riding Hood was standing outside the door. She decided she would take the piss out of Granny.

“It’s Bing Crosby, Granny!” lied the girl, adding “who the hell did you think it was, you old crone, the Big Bad Sodding Wolf?... Haha!” Although she wasn’t aware of it, her nose immediately grew a further two inches.

“Oh lovely… come in dear, come in. The door’s unlocked.”

Little Red Riding Hood peered round the door, nose first and hearing Granny in the bedroom, bounced in gaily. “Hi Granny. Gotcha! It's not Bing Crosby… it’s me, Little Red Riding Hood!”