Changing ways

I was lying in the hospital bed. The stroke had left me a bit woozy, but I spotted the consultant and his entourage coming my way. They stopped at the end of my bed and he talked to the junior doctors as though I wasn't there. Then he turned to me.

"Mr Hunt... I am discharging you tomorrow. You've had a stroke and that's serious, and you must change your lifestyle!"

"I know, I know, I must cut down dramatically on beer and wine!"

"Oh no," he said. "You need to drink more, much more!"

And then I woke up.