Late arrivals

My daughter was overdue and my wife was so very pregnant that she had to stay in bed. She’d had a few contractions, so I called Steve who’d offered to stay the night and babysit the boys. The contractions were quite infrequent, so Steve and I decided to go for a pint. We didn't like the nearest pubs, so drove to our favourite real ale pub, several miles away.

Somehow we both forgot about the impending birth, returning at closing time. Mrs H was panicking... waters had broken, contractions every minute.

Only the hospital’s close proximity saved me playing midwife.