Hard choices and dark secrets

It's been a hard life. I've always been a hard bastard - always looked rough, and that's not about to change. But now, I feel I may be starting to reach maturity. Time to soften? Not too much of course, but so people will appreciate me more... for the joy I can bring.

But hard bastards don't gently ease into maturity. We keep people guessing.

"He looks so rough. Maybe he's softening somewhat. So how can we tell if he's ready?"

"Only one way, all or nothing, Cut him in two!"

"Haha, fooledya!"

I'd showed my dark side. Inside.

Avo-lution!