My submission

I'm a bit suspicious. I think the CIA may be trying to headhunt my wife. The rendition programme needs a helping hand. They may have got word about her special skills, if you can call them skills.

Waterboarding has been getting some pretty bad press recently, so little wonder they need an alternative. But when you want to force someone into submission, Mrs H has it sussed!

It goes like this. Unconsciously hum the first two lines of 'Alouette, gentile Alouette' over and over and over on a continuous loop ALL THE TIME! I can tell you, it's absolute torture!