The secrets of not ageing

I don't believe in ageing! I refuse! I won't!

Lest we age ourselves, my 7 steps of anti-ageing are:

1. Eyes closed during a hair cut. That way you'll never see it's current hue.

2. Never be photographed. Duck, make excuses, get behind the camera.

3. Absolutely no selfies.

4. No beard. You might glimpse the grey if you look down.

5. NEVER look in the mirror! Who needs them?

6. Shave by touch; fingertips are your best shave quality assessors.

7. Brush your (remaining?) hair from memory of what it was - you need to keep your memory working!