The living
"I'm very sorry to tell you the sad news that Mum died yesterday at four."
"Oh no, that's awful. Where was she when she died?"
"At home"
"Oh that's good. That's how she would have wanted it. She'll be missed at the WI. They've had a spate of deaths recently. When's the funeral?"
"Dunno yet!"
"Let me know when."
"Of course."
"She was a battler, your mum. How long had she been ill?
"Over two years."
"Bless her, they made them tough in her family...."
"My family."
"....of course, it's a blessed relief..."
"No it isn't... MY MUM JUST DIED!"
- Category: General / Misc
9 comments add one below
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Neville Hunt almost 7 years ago
Not sure if this works, but decided to write it anyway.
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Jeff Taylor almost 7 years ago
I don't know how much reality is in this, but I know how this feels. Although my mum's passing last year was sudden, it takes time and crocodile tears from outside the family never help.
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Neville Hunt almost 7 years ago
Thanks, Jeff. It was prompted by a phone call I took yesterday from the daughter of my wife's cousin, who died last Friday. It made me think about the standard, cliche responses from people on hearing the news of someone who has died. Often what is said leaves the question 'How we YOU feeling' left as an afterthought. I have a firm view that the main focus after a death should be for the feelings of the living. Thus I was showing how easy it is to ignore this with the usual cliche responses.
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Neville Hunt almost 7 years ago
Jeff, this wretched iPad keeps trying to guess what I want to say and gets it wrong. I had meant to say 'How are YOU feeling?' ... but iPad has other ideas! So irritating, but my fault for not checking properly before I uploaded my comment. ☹️
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Christopher almost 7 years ago
This is wonderfully well written, Neville. Even though you can take solace in the fact that your loved one isn't suffering anymore, it's not for an outsider to make that judgment.
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Jeff Taylor almost 7 years ago
No need to fret Neville. I knew what you meant. ;)
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Neville Hunt almost 7 years ago
Thanks, Drew.
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D.M. almost 7 years ago
You accomplish much in a short conversation. 'Blessed relief' always begs the
question, for whom? -
Neville Hunt almost 7 years ago
Absolutely, D.M., blessed relief is such an easy cliche to trot out, but I bet those left behind don't always see it so clearly. Death is for the living to recover from is my own strong conviction. Thanks very much for reading and for your comments. Always greatly appreciated.
