The test of time

Ralf: "My dad can run faster than your dad. He can run a mile in 4 minutes!"

Joe: "No he can't, because my dad can run a mile in 3 minutes!"

Ralf: "Well my dad runs a mile in 2 minutes and swims 100 metres in 1 minute!"

Joe: "My dad can run a mile in 1 minute, swim 100 metres in 30 seconds and won the county time trials on his bike!"

Ralf: "What time does your dad do, Bernie?

Bernie: "My dad's doing time and when he gets out he'll kick the shit out of your smartarse dads!