Full House

Unbelievable! The good old English breakfast has come under attack in our house this week. A wholesome offer of a plate of bacon, eggs, sausage, beans and yes, black pudding and fried bread was flatly rejected - I could hardly sit there scoffing a ‘full house’ whilst my friends pecked at their bird seed and dried fruit concoctions. I’m not a bloody budgerigar nor some puritanical food extremist. I dislike having my eating habits derailed by health freaks claiming to be more virtuous than me - next time I’ll sneak down to the local greasy spoon as an act of personal protest.