Jumping for joy

The moment the oncologist confirmed he would need to amputate my legs, I embraced him with delight.

If the cancer had not spread below both knees, I would have been cheated of the full publicity benefits of this opportunity.

For years I had battled the narrow mindedness of the medical profession, who refused to accept that my design for spring loaded artificial limbs, inspired by jump stilts, would empower amputees with acrobatic prowess beyond imagining.

As soon as my stumps are khealed, those experts will be weeping over their refusals of financial backing, while I bounce somersaults over their heads.