My Perfect Cat

I have a cat.
It's the perfect cat!
It's quiet, minds its own business.
Doesn't shed, doesn't claw the couch.
Doesn't crap on the floor or pee in the corner.
If you walk into my apartment you couldn't even tell that I even own a cat.
I do love this cat.
I don't have to worry about it bringing me gifts of dead birds or mice.
No feathers to clean up and dispose of.
I especially don't have to worry about any future kittens.
I don't even have to feed the damn thing.
It's a porcelain cat.
The perfect cat!