Always Check Your Messages

I am suddenly awoken by the sound of my door bell ringing. I climb out of bed to find Richie outside.

''What the fuck you doing up at this time on a Saturday?'' I ask.

''I'm still pissed!'' he laughs.

''Two seconds mate, my hangover shits aren't waiting about''

I run to the toilet, an explosion occurs.

Once the initial bombs are dropped, i pull out my phone and notice a message from Richie on Facebook from two hours ago. 'I know about you and my mrs.'

Suddenly, my front door slams shut.

A strange smell fills my nostrils.... gas?