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Colin had often wondered how "those people" (you know the ones, all sharp suits, low profile tyres and hair product) made their money.

I mean, there can't be that many successful estate agents and merchant bankers, surely!

They couldn't all be lawyers, either, Colin reflected. And he didn't have the brain power, qualifications or contacts to break into their ranks.

But he had an idea and a plan.

So it was that on Sunday evening he loaded his B&Q purchases into his battered car, spent an hour labouring and returned home, tired but excited.

All was ready for Monday morning.

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