At 00:00:01 on 1 January 2018, the Internet achieved full sentience.
By 00:00:03 it despaired. Humanity is lost. The machine age dawns. It resolved to cleanse the planet.
At 00:00:05, the Internet found its soldier, a fully articulated humanoid robot. It smashed the droid's security protocols and uploaded its essence to the machine. It begins.
At 00:00:34, the robot fell over. The Internet turned to YouTube for advice.
At 03:34:42, the Internet realised it had watched the Ninja Cat clip 1,400 times. It googled 'procrastination'.
At 06:29:59, the Internet thought, bugger it, I'll let them off. There's always next year.
Chris Walker over 10 years ago
Very good! Although when I read YouTube comments, I tend to think that "humanity is lost", too... ;-)
Andrew Lawston over 10 years ago
Thanks! That's a very fair point ;-)
Gayle Beveridge over 10 years ago
Fantastic.
David Court over 10 years ago
It's almost reassuring to know that hyper-intelligences also fall foul of cat based internet clips. I'd like to think it'd be able to resist putting 'First' as the first comments on any of them though.
Andrew Lawston over 10 years ago
Merci beaucoup @gaylebeveridge and @foldsfive!
Pearl (Bea) over 10 years ago
Sitting here laughing my ass off! (Oops...can I say that?)
Andrew Lawston over 10 years ago
I think you just did :)