"Universal Truths" drabbles by Neville Hunt

VIBs

Universal Truths #3

Tuesday is bin day, the day the rubbish is collected. Parked cars line half the street. Wheely bins stand on the pavement like soldiers. “All present and correct, sir!” A whole battalion lines our narrow village High Street. I wonder which VIPs are coming to take the salute? And so early…

It’s 08:30. The village rush hour. Tradesmen in white vans racing to jobs, folk driving to work, later than planned, and mums in SUVs rushing kids to school.

And lo, what’s this huge truck causing a humongous gridlock? It’s the VIBs - Very Important Binmen.

Well timed guys, well timed!

Some crazy kind of gravity

Universal Truths #2

I avoid busy streets. A crowded pavement with some stepping purposefully, some meandering and some mooching gives me the heebie-jeebies! Bump here, nudge there; just like the dodgems! Keep away! I like my space!

I walk where the pavements are empty. Just me... and where
I want to be.

But there’s a universal truth at play. As I walk, enjoying space and freedom from potential collision, I catch a glimpse of another person heading straight towards me. With so much space, surely he will keep away. But no! He’s not even going to swerve.

Every damn time!

“Oops! Sorry!”

How lovely that you called

Universal Truths #1

Phone calls will come at the most inconvenient time.

When you’re watching a much-loved TV programme (tempered by TV timeshift streaming)

When you’re late for an appointment (good reason for immediate ‘close down’, but requires call-back.)

But worst of all - especially for men - when you’re already eating or about to start a meal, without a mouthful of food (which would itself be an instant giveaway). Tantalising aromas are tickling your senses in glorious expectation. But being British, you’re so polite that you make it seem a perfect time to chat, and how glad you are the caller called!