"Gravediggers Lament" drabbles by Neville Hunt

Gravediggers’ Lament 1969 (Finale)

Gravediggers Lament #3

‘Ere comes annuver bloody box,
This vicar’s on the make.
Corblimey mister, don’t die yet,
It’s still me cawfee break!

Drablr is a tough mistress! That’s why it’s so good. I discovered this poem amongst my memorabilia recently when I was ‘encouraged’ to tidy up my appallingly messy study, with floor completely covered with horizontal filing. So much paper, even in today’s world. I don’t want to look at it, so I ignore it. But then I can’t throw it out and I don’t know what to do with it.

“File it!” she says, but my files are all full.

Gravediggers’ Lament 1969 (Part 2)

Gravediggers Lament #2

Some people fink it’s easy work,
But that ain’t what I fink,
‘Cos if they ain’t dug deep enough
Them barsterds don’ ‘arf stink!

See them flowers over there,
Ain’t no good to ‘im now
Fink I’ll take ‘em ‘ome wiv me,
Ter give ter me ole cow.

‘Ere comes ‘ole Dikkie Fisher now,
‘Ee must be full ‘o germs,
‘Ee never barfed once in ‘is life,
I pity them poor worms!

Annuver fing wot seems strange ter me
No-one’s buried Sundays,
‘Cos tha’s when I gets double time!
(There’s bloody ‘undreds Mondays)

(irritatingly, there’s just one more verse!)

Gravediggers’ Lament 1969 (Part 1)

Gravediggers Lament #1

Six feet deep and three feet wide,
I dig these funny ‘oles,
If I didn’t like work so flippin’ much
I’d leave it to the moles.

‘Ere it comes, the wooden box,
The tears they falls like rain.
They slings the bugger in the ‘ole,
An’ I fill it up again.

Then I gets the lump o’ stone
An’ dumps it on the top.
They keeps them buggers comin’ fast,
I wish they’d bloody stop!

One fing wot seems strange ter me,
An’ tha’s why don’t they wait,
Until they’ve got a tidy few,
Ter stuff in one big crate?