Etiquette

'Well...after you, old chap!' smirked Nigel.
'Oh please, you first' Malcolm said, indicating he should go ahead.
'Hmm, under normal circumstances I would sir, but, well...I feel it's not my place'
'Psssh! Now, now - no false modesty!' Malcolm chided.
'It's not a case of false modesty, squire' Nigel whispered conspiratorially. 'It's just...one has never done this sort of thing before, if you catch my drift'
'Ahh, first time, eh?'
'Erm...hello? I am here you know!' exclaimed Natalie, Nigel's wife. 'I'm gagging for a shag, so will one of you be a bloody man about it and get your pants off?!??'