The hair in the plug-hole. The pair of knickers you'd forgotten to take with you. That one Wellington boot of yours that for some reason ended up in the shed. All left here when you stormed out after finding me banging that tart I met on a boy's night out.
I've Febrezed the flat, you know. Tidied up the place. Thrown out my porn stash. I can't tell you how I want your hair clogging the plug-hole, your hair straighteners left plugged in.
I've made crispy pancakes for dinner. That's surely the true meaning of love.
Bryan Thomas over 5 years ago
I think ditching your porn stash was a bit rash!