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“Can't do it – won’t do it friend. Sorry!”
“Och! Malcolm, come on, you still have the puff.”
“It’s not the puff George, it’s the principle.”
“Principle my eye Malcom, for heaven’s sake, come on! Man up! Are you afraid of the bag?”
Malcolm glanced at the chanter on the sideboard.
“The bag’s got moth.”
Tilly, Malcolm’s wife had just entered: Women’s Pibroch Champion 2004, Scotland’s premier player, beloved by females, despised by males.
“Please Malcolm,” pleaded George, “ Burn's Night piped in by a woman will be a disaster"
“So will the haggis but – the answer’s still No!”

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