Mortimer Jenkins loved getting mail. Any mail was good mail, except bills.
Opening his mailbox, he was overjoyed to find a parcel inside with a note attached.
Opening said note, it read: PROOF OF JOB SUCCESS.
Deciding to open the parcel, Mortimer pried open the case and emptied the contents onto the table. His eyes bulged when he discovered three ring fingers come out, large rings attached still, blood dried. He ran to the phone, he had to call, but somebody was on the other line when he picked it up.
"We're watching over you, Mortimer Jenkins, and always will."