Winophilistines

They sucked air between teeth, swishing around their mouths.

"This one is a little green, Nigel, but nice and lively, quite fruity. I'm getting acid, citrus, mmm, fresh limes and pineapples."

"What about this dark red one, Julian?"

"Mmm, yes, Nigel, this is much better, deep rich colour, soft and gentle on the tongue, sweet and full of summer sunshine. A bit chewy but bags of fruity flavours. I'm getting blackcurrants and elderberries.

"Julian, I think this one's corked."

"Damn!" Julian swept the wine gums to the floor and stomped off.

That's why I stick to jelly babies, they're reliable.